The car started to break a long time ago. Nikodem didn't think anything of it. It's an old car, he said. It's normal for a car its age to start deteriorating. At least that's what he said. Mikołaj didn't know if believing him would be a good idea. Nikodem really loved this car, there was no reason for him to doubt the cat. But with every weird sound, each control light, he started to doubt him all along. He didn't want to be like that. Nikodem was his boyfriend. If their relationship wasn't that deep and this long, he would've said something. But he didn't. The mouse didn't want his two years of a good relationship to go down the drain. He wasn't sure if that would've done it. Though, he wasn't sure if that would do anything at all. Mikołaj prefered to stay in this weird place, between being real and becoming insane.

Then the car broke down. Nikodem didn't want to seem incompetent, so he didn't say anything. Mikołaj didn't want to say anything, so he said nothing as well. This would've been perfect if the car didn't break down.

Fortunately for them, the car breathed its last gasoline huff on a random supermarket's parking lot. A Biedronka to be exact, the one in Chorzów, on the edge of Ruda Śląska. The edge between what was and what could've been. They were supposed to move out. Somewhere far away. Maybe Wrocław. Perhaps Poznań. Somewhere better, not in the south, where the mountains are farther away. It wasn't their day. Nikodem thought that it's better this way. This world gave them more time to think this through. The cat wasn't sure about this. Mikołaj blamed this all on himself. If he said something they wouldn't have ended up here. They would've been far away already, in another voivodeship, in another place finally. Somewhere that isn't this goddamned city. The mouse wanted to cry but nothing came from his tear ducts. The early morning sunlight didn't help him at all. It was 6 A.M. The store was already open.

Get yourself something to drink, Nikodem said. They were both still in the car, Nikodem's paws still on the wheel. He gripped it tighter. As if that could change anything. It couldn't and, of course, he knew that. And get something for me too, he added. Do you want something specific? his boyfriend asked. Nikodem shook his head.

He'll get water. Both for himself and for the cat. That's what Mikołaj decided. He tried to get out of the dead car but Nikodem stopped him, trying to hold his boyfriend's paw. I love you, Miki, he said. Miki tried to smile a little but he wasn't sure what appeared on his snout. I love you too, he responded. Nikodem gripped him tighter. Mikołaj escaped his grasp. Mikołaj was sure Nikodem knew how he felt. He was wrong.

The air was crisp. It was close to autumn anyway. Mikołaj didn't care about the air nor the wind ruffling his fur. He just wanted to get over this. So did the employees. Almost all women. There was a single man but that was just security. The mouse went to the aisle with bottled drinks, always at the back of the store, close to the entrance of the stock room. Convenience. Mikołaj took two bottles of water, his prefered brand, not mineral because mineral tastes like rocks and who would want to drink rock water. Definitely not him. So he took the bottles to the register, at least the only one that was available. The mouse didn't look at the woman. She asked him if he had a rewards program card. Mikołaj didn't respond. It was two bottles of water, why would anyone care about a sale for bottled water. Just let him pay for the goddamned water. And she did, eventually. His wallet got a bit thinner. It was fine. Just for the time being.

Nikodem didn't notice Miki coming out of the store. He got out of the car and opened its hood. He had wished he could actually know something about the insides of cars. The cat really didn't know what he was looking at. Nikodem really loved this car, he just didn't care about what was going under the hood. He knew how to drive. That was enough for him. Apparently he was wrong. But it was fine, they could still fix it anyway. That's what he thought. He was wrong once again. There was no way to fix it. No way to do it right there with what he had, which was not much. A wrench at most. Maybe a screwdriver. It was enough for Nikodem to feel like he was in power. The illusion was there. Miki didn't doubt him. Or his authority on the matter. Here, his boyfriend said, holding a bottle of water. It startled him a bit because he didn't hear him. Thanks, he responded. Nikodem took a sip of the water. It wasn't necessarily what he wanted but it was too late to change anything now. So, Miki started, how's the wreck? I don't know yet, he responded, haven't gotten a good look at it yet. Oh, alright.

The mouse expected something. Anything, at least. He was in the store for a longer while. Nikodem had the time. Or maybe Mikołaj is out of his mind. That was probably it. His boyfriend was basically the driving force of this operation and it wasn't enough to him. Mikołaj, get yourself together, he thought. The least you can do is not complain about this whole thing. Take it like a champ. Leave him alone for a while. That'll do it. He doesn't need a mouse to fly around him like an annoying bug. Wouldn't want to get squished, would you? he thought. I'll leave you with this, Mikołaj said, I'm going for a walk. Oh, sure, he responded, I'll call if I need something. The mouse nodded and walked away.

I don't think Miki suspects anything, Nikodem thought. We're going to fix this. The problem was, they weren't going to fix it. No matter how hard they would try, the car was dead. The cat went to the trunk to get his pitiful tools. He brought the wrench and the screwdriver back to the hood. Nikodem looked for anything that could be moved with his tools. He couldn't really see anything. He got nervous. He started sweating. There was no going back from this. Not until noon.

Mikołaj went to the small forested area near the Biedronka. Back in Chorzów. The boundary is flimsy. He sat down. Even touched grass, feeling green bristles against his small digits. He was done with everything. It was almost 8 A.M. He was close to the abandoned rail tracks. He remembered walking along them when he and Nikodem finished school that day, scaring their parents. They both had no phones. They were supposed to go straight back home. They didn't. And so, their parents didn't allow them to hang out for the longest while. They finished elementary school, Nikodem first, Mikołaj second, two years later. Nikodem went to a middle school then. Mikołaj had to go to a different one. Completely farther away from where he lived. He hated his parents for the longest time. He could really blame them for all that was happening at this moment.

Nikodem took his flannel shirt off and tied it around his waist. His fur was sticking to itself thanks to his sweat, his tank top already getting stained. He was fucked. He promised his boyfriend that they could both run away from this place and now what? Nothing. They were going to stay in this place at least until noon. They were going to stay in Chorzów for even longer. Weeks. Months. They would all pass, waiting for the money to do something. Nikodem didn't notice Miki coming once again. This time it didn't startle him. I'm going to get cigarettes from the store, his boyfriend said. Do you smoke? No. Why then? Why not. Nikodem didn't say anything. Maybe it is time to actually start, Miki finished. Then he went away, into the Biedronka once more.

The music was generally making Mikołaj go slowly insane. Total corporate diarrhea. He was just going for cigarettes. Go in and go out. That was his plan. Thin your wallet further, he thought. Buy the worst ones. And don't bump into someone you know. Miki? Is that you? the mouse heard barely seconds after entering this ninth circle of hell. It was someone from elementary school. The fact that he was recognised was moreso terrifying than irritating. This was just not the time. Any other day. Oh, hi, Mikołaj responded, how are you? I'm fine, how are you? Fine. You don't look fine. Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, FUCK YOU, the mouse thought. Well, you look like shit, he said and walked away. No more time. Not a single second more. He went to the register again. LMs, please.

It's been a few days for Nikodem. That's what it felt like. Several minutes. It felt like the sun was just milimeters away from his neck. The realizations slowly crept to him. This is it, isn't it? That's the end. Miki will hate him forever, until the end of time. There's a mechanic on the other side of the street, Miki said. Do you think we can afford that? Nikodem responded. What about another one? We can't afford any mechanic. The mouse took a cigarette from its box and lit it.

The smoke filled Mikołaj's lungs like other cars filled the rest of the parking lot. He sat in the trunk, thinking if he should just walk away from this. Go "home". It's Nikodem's car. Or at least what is left of it. Mikołaj was right. Sooner or later, he will walk away from this, leaving his boyfriend, or whatever will be left of him, at the parking lot. It won't get better.

The others gave them weird looks. Of course they did. Him and Miki were just wasting space. It was 11 A.M. Nikodem barely spoke to his boyfriend, purely out of fear. He was sitting in his car, holding his head on the wheel. He needed some more time to admit that there was nothing he could do. Some more minutes. Some more hours. Some more days. Some more weeks. Some more months. Some more years. Some more lifetimes.

It was noon. Mikołaj smoked through half of his cigarettes. It was close to the end of it all. The total massacre.

It was noon. Nikodem surrendered.

Mikołaj didn't say anything. He just got up and started walking away. It was over.

Nikodem didn't notice Miki going away. He just started weeping. Quietly enough, so no one could ever hear him.